What's all this about?
Four MINI Cooper S three-doors are going to star in a film from Christopher Columbus (no, not the long-dead explorer, the other one - who did Home Alone and Mrs Doubtfire, among other movies) due out later this year.
What's the film called?
PIXELS, and it's based on a 2010 short of the same, non-capitalised name by French director Patrick Jean. Look it up on t'internet.
Outline the plot for me, then.
Arcade game signals from the 1980s are picked up by extra-terrestrials, who misinterpret them as an act of war. In retaliation, these aliens send huge versions of Pac-Man and Donkey Kong to Earth, whereupon they digitise everything they touch. Cue the US Government calling in four old-school gamers (played by Adam Sandler, Peter Dinklage, Denis Akiyama and Josh Gad) to do battle with these iconic nasties.
Hold the phones - where do the MINIs come into this?
Well, if we were battling massive digital alien arcade characters, what we'd really want is a bloody big gun (or BFG, keeping the gaming theme going), not a quarter of Cooper S MINIs. But this is Hollywood, after all.
Those MINIs look eerily familiar, though...
That's because they're MINI Ghosts, painted and named after the villains of the Pac-Man coin-op. Ten points if you can name them.
Blinky, Inky, Pinky and Clyde.
Damn you! Here, have your points.
When is this deranged nonsense entering our cinemas?
PIXELS gets a US opening on July 24, so don't expect to see it here until autumn at the earliest.
Matt Robinson - 18 Mar 2015