Just popping out for milk darling, I'll take the MINI.
Erm, hold on dear, you might want to...
EEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!
Ah, yes, you see I've made some changes...
Why is it all distended and bulked up?
Ah, that's to handle the massive power of the engine. Well, the virtual engine. You see, instead of the usual 1.5-litre diesel, this Clubman Vision Gran Turismo has a 395hp engine delivering power to all four wheels. It can go from 0-100mph in just 3.5 seconds, you know.
But... but... why can't I open the door?
Well, you see it's not actually real. It has been created for the Gran Turismo PlayStation game, and BMW and MINI have just put a frankly ridiculous amount of detail into it. There are fully adjustable dampers, gearbox ratios that automatically adapt to the track you are virtually driving it on, monster air inlets for letting in entirely fictional air and full flat-bottom under tray aerodynamics for creating not-really-there-at-all downforce.
There's also a wider track, blistered wheel arches, spoilers, wings, massive wheels and semi-slick tyres and unique LED headlights that mimic the pattern of old club racers with taped-up lights to stop them shattering. Oh and yes, those are (entirely imaginary) 22-inch wheels.
While the car will always be silver, you can tart it up with contrast roofs, stripes and accents in orange, green, blue and more. It's fully customisable. Darling? Darling, are you alright?
Yes, I think so. But why have you done all this?
Well, it's all part of the strategy to build up to the launch of the new MINI Clubman later this year. To mark the 15th anniversary of the franchise Gran Turismo, producer and President of Polyphony Digital Inc. Kazunori Yamauchi, invited leading automobile manufacturers to contribute to the successful Gran Turismo series. Design departments were called upon to cast their eyes into the future and share their groundbreaking concept models with the gaming community. The virtual automobiles are being integrated into the latest iteration of the new game Gran Turismo 6 for PlayStation 3, in the form of online updates.
Head of BMW Group Design Adrian von Hooydonk said: "The MINI Clubman Vision Gran Turismo is in fact the second cooperation in connection with Gran Turismo 6. I very much appreciate the opportunity to collaborate with Kazunori-San because he is just as interested in automobile design and performance as we are at the BMW Group".
The BMW Group has been active in the area of gaming for many years. The company attaches importance to being able to bring to life concepts such as the MINI Clubman Vision Grand Turismo as well as classic and current BMW Group vehicles in an interactive way for a wide audience and not just present them passively in the form of images and trailers, it says here.
Can I just have my old Clubman back, please?
Well, yes but you'll have to qualify for your starter's GT licence first. Here's the game pad...
Neil Briscoe - 26 Feb 2015