Every now and again a car comes along that screams 'mock me' with everything it is. The Maybach Zeppelin, despite being the very embodiment of monolithic power, is one such car; the George W. Bush of automobiles, if you will. This is going to be fun...

Ok, let's start at the most obvious place - the perfume atomiser. Yes, the Maybach Zeppelin has the world's first sophisticated in-car perfume atomiser, so you never need be without your favourite brand of musk on the go. Two custom scents have been created specifically for the Maybach, too, or alternatively moneyed customers can create a whiff of their very own. And, get this, it costs nearly £4,000. You could get 1,000 bottles of Denim by Faberge for that. What's wrong with a Magic Tree and a mini hand fan, we say - but then we are mere peasants.

Fortunately only 100 units of the Zeppelin will be built, costing... well, have a guess and we'll tell you later. In the meantime, here are some other numbers that might interest you: it's based on the 57 S and 62 S versions of the Maybach limo (you can have it in either wheelbase), it has a 6.0-litre V12 bi-turbo engine with 631bhp and 738lb.ft of twisty pull, and it has a set of 20-inch rims that are first painted black then get a silver topcoat that fades from the outside in. The two-tone paint job includes a shoulder line painted in 'Rocky Mountains Light Brown' as well. Oh my goodness.

Obviously the people who drive these things get no choice in the matter, so what's happening in the back is the important issue. Fortunately, it's a veritable banquet of comfort and sophistication. Quilted leather abounds, lambskin carpets cover the floor and a set of Zeppelin-branded champagne flutes are yours to sup Babycham from on the M25.

Of course, this is a Maybach - and a flagship one at that - so if you really want to, you can have Mercedes rip out the entire interior and replace it with a Studio 54 themed discotheque paradise.

Available to order in March, the first cars will reach the fleet garages of Sheiks and foreign Premiership chairmen by September, priced at around £365,000 for the 57 version and £425,000 for the 62, not including VAT. The rest of us can check it out at next month's Geneva Motor Show.

And we didn't even mention the credit crunch once. Damn...

Mark Nichol - 11 Feb 2009