Unusually I start this review with an apology. You see, the 7-series is probably the first car I've tested that cannot be completely summarised in a few thousand words. There is so much to talk about that it is practically impossible to cover absolutely everything. The BMW's handbook pack was 3 inches thick and the press pack is some 60 odd pages of A4, very few of which don't contain some valuable piece of information that would be of interest to the potential owner.
"How much detail can there be?" I hear you ask. Well, take as an example, the fact that the 7-series monitors when the windscreen wipers are in use. After a few days at rest it moves the blades up or down a few millimetres, depending on which way they moved last, just to ensure that both sides of the wiper wear evenly. That is the level of detail BMW have put into this car, and is an illustration of the extent of my task. So dear reader I apologise...
In stark contrast the 7-series doesn't; it wears its heart on its sleeve; it isn't afraid or ashamed of its size or its station in life. It hasn't been styled as a subtle shrinking violet of a limo, scared to take to the road for fear of tree huggers chasing it down the motorway (maybe they've read up on it and realise the 7 is actually quite a green vehicle). Even 2 years after its launch the biggest talking point about the 7-series is its looks. Jaws still drop, gazes are fixed and hands are involuntarily raised to point. Some people love the individuality of the lines; some find it too contrived.
For me the basic form is right but the execution and fussy nature of some of the detailing lets it down. For example, the headlight clusters: the placement of the indicator lens as an eyebrow looks odd and leaves the "angel eyes" headlights looking like horseshoes. The plastic indented surround on the lenses just looks cheap. In this case a simpler solution would have been much more pleasing to the eye, but then maybe that is the point. It is different: bold, brash and big - one of the new generation of cars on which an 18" alloy looks a little too small. It does stand out and it does provoke thought and discussion and it certainly has presence.
Internally the controversy continues, principally due to the I-drive system. Largely panned by the media at launch, the success of this system depends on a number of things. First of all whether you're a technophobe and secondly whether you have good hand to eye co-ordination. Some may say a good memory would also be an aid but to be fair the system does try and help as much as it can and is pretty intuitive. I-drive is your one stop centre for all non-essential vehicle controls such as air con, satnav etc. It is a menu-based system that you pilot via a knob on the centre console (where the gear stick would normally be).
Through turning and pressing this knob you navigate a series of menus for all the functions. It sounds fiddly but works well after a few hours acclimatisation. All essential controls are worked via the buttons on the steering wheel and the four stalks around it. Gears, cruise control, windscreen wipers, indicators and lights are all operated via these stalks. Again it may sound complicated, but in practice works well – although even after a few days I still managed to wash the 'screen at a frenzied wiper rate whilst hurriedly trying to engage drive. Things would improve with familiarity.
Most impressive of the functions within I-Drive is the satnav, which is displayed either on the whole screen or via a clever picture-in-picture style. It is fairly intuitive and un-erringly accurate sorting out errors and re-plotting solutions in double quick time. Most noticeable though was the thoroughness of the integration of the system. Directions are available via voice, TV screen or shown in neat graphics in the centre of the rev counter. Practical, user friendly and utterly logical it's a fantastic system that in itself sums up the depth of the head scratching that went in to the 7-series.
Driving the 7 is a cross between flying a plane and the surreal feeling of being moved around very quickly in a luxurious drawing room. Getting under way in itself is an occasion. Having entered the car via the keyless entry, (which unlocks the doors when you touch the handle) one sinks into the driver's seat. Then you place the key into the slot in the dash and the wheel and seat move to your preset position (stored on the key along with the car's identity, service history and current condition in terms of items such as brake pads, which can be fed back into BMW's service computer so they can schedule any necessary work... wow!).
Put your foot on the brake and press the start button. Somewhere in the distance an engine starts. A glance at the rev-counter confirms that it is indeed yours; no noise betrays the existence of the V8 at idle. I actually stopped the engine a few times whilst trying to start it when it was already running as I thought it hadn't caught. A prod on the upper right hand lever engages drive; a push on the button on the dash disengages the handbrake (assuming the auto park function is inactive) and, "Foxtrot Charlie to tower, ready for take off", and you're away. In eerie silence.
The V8 is another master class in engine building by BMW. Utterly silent when going about its daily work, it only makes its presence heard when you want it to. As the revs climb beyond 3000 rpm the restrained V8 woofle becomes a harder tone and comes over a bit NASCAR as it soars effortlessly to the red line. Under normal driving conditions the engine never revs beyond that 3000 rpm line; it doesn't need to. Such is the muscularity and linear nature of the engine that it carries out its job with aplomb and with minimal fuss, never appearing to be extended.
The six-speed ZF box is a marvel, shifting up and down the ratios seamlessly, only the movement of the rev counter betrays the swapping of ratios the majority of the time. Full load shifts are immaculately executed at the red line accompanied by the wonderful snarl from the V8. Very occasionally shifts at low speeds can be felt but only if you really try and pick them out and even more rarely can one catch the box in two minds about the optimum ratio. In reality, we were trying to provoke such things. Even when it did hunt between cogs it was completely smooth, again the rev counter needle's flickering was the only indication.
The ride quality in comfort mode is fantastic - better than the clichéd magic carpet. Potholes are dismissed nonchalantly and cat's eyes are reduced to a faint pitter-patter somewhere far away. Very few road imperfections found the car lacking. Wind noise isn't a factor below 90 mph and even then one can hold a conversation at a whisper. Tyre noise is also only noticeable by its absence although, like every other car I've ever driven on it, the concrete sections of motorway aren't completely damped out.
The optional Electronic Damper Control (EDC - £760) enables a sport mode to be engaged that stiffens up the chassis. Even on the Sport setting the BMW ride is more than just acceptable. This setting did transform the handling though. In conjunction with the Dynamic Drive, a chassis system that resists body roll by the use of active hydraulic anti-roll bars, the 7 has a go at being a sports saloon. However, the turn-in was never as sharp as we'd have liked and one always needed to apply a little bit more lock than expected. The
Jaguar XJ turned in much more quickly, but traded this off with a slightly stiff rear suspension that crashed over some undulations. Once into a bend the BMW has plenty of grip and responds well to throttle adjustments, altering its course accordingly. Should you get a little too carried away, the Dynamic Stability Control (DSC – standard on all 7-series) will call a halt to proceedings and rein the car in. As you'd expect, the dinner plate sized discs stop the car well with no fade in normal driving conditions.
Running a 7-series isn't as expensive as you might think. Economy wise, an average in the early 20s is entirely feasible - assuming you don't drive exclusively in the city. If mpg is your critical pre-requisite at purchase time then the 730d would probably be your favoured choice in any case. On the other hand if you can afford £55k's worth of Munich's finest then the fuel consumption may not be a deciding factor. If, more likely, the company picks up the fuel bill, then the CO
2 figure may be of more interest and this weighs in at 259 g/km.
From a servicing point of view the £750 BMW Service Inclusive pack looks like a must-have. This covers all servicing and maintenance for the first 50,000 miles of the car's life. It is worth bearing in mind that you may only have two services in that time (depending on how hard you drive the car), but even so it makes a lot of sense to include this pack for consumables such as brakes. The rest of the car is engineered to be spanner free for life. Impressive. As per usual the highest cost of running such a large luxury saloon is the depreciation. It is relatively severe on any car in this sector and the 7-series doesn't buck the trend – its controversial looks don't help this aspect but recent studies reveal that the 7 now retains more of its value than the equivalent S-class, the first time BMW has been able to make this claim.
What you're looking at here is one of a handful of cars that can honestly lay claim to being the best car in the world. Whether or not it is depends on exactly what it is you want from your car. The 7-series is an awesome car in which to travel. Even after a week it impressed us on a new level with the depth and breadth of abilities. It is a continent crushing, technological powerhouse in which one can sit, relax and watch the world pass by in complete calm, comfort and tranquillity. There is no better car this side of a Roll Royce Phaeton in which to be driven. A previous incarnation of the 7-series was marketed on the basis that it contained more computing power than it took to put man on the moon. By comparison this generation must be close to a landing on Pluto. However, if you actually want to engage in the driving experience it just falls slightly short and you may find more thrills elsewhere, particularly in the guise of a Jaguar XJ.
In summary, whilst I can't say that this is unquestionably the ultimate driving machine, it is the ultimate ride-in machine and for many people in this market that's exactly what they want. No apologies necessary.
