What's this then?

This is the new BMW M Performance options kit for the X5 SUV.

A body kit for an off-roader? Bit pointless, isn't it?

You'd think so, but BMW claims that these are more than just stick-on parts. They've all been carefully optimised to enhance the performance of the car. Apparently.

What can I have then?

The most interesting option is all-terrain wheels, which are meant to be more rugged and less prone to damage. They're gorgeous matte-black 20-inch items, and you can have them with rugged-looking all-terrain tyres too.

Anything else?

Yes, lots. How about 22-inch alloys, with uprated 19-inch brakes and red brake calipers behind them? Or carbon-fibre trim for the front air intakes and rear diffuser? Or a matte-black side sill with the M Performance logo?

What about inside?

Oh yes, you can have a new steering wheel with Alcantara grips and, optionally, even more carbon-fibre. Or, if you want something a little more pointless, an M Performance key cover, or even storage bags for your tyres, assuming you swap from winter to summer tyres and back again.