Pardon me, m'lud, but be that a new Bentley Mulsanne ye be driving, m'lud, guvnor, sir?

Indeed it is, Inquisitive Peasant.

Ah, be it a Mulsanne or be it a Mulsanne Speed if that be not too impertinent a question, sir?

Well spotted, Peasant. This is in fact a Mulsanne Speed, a model that will be introduced at the Geneva Motor Show. Compared to the standard Mulsanne, it has 537hp (instead of 512hp) and 1,100Nm of torque (1,020Nm for the standard car) and can accelerate from 0-62mph in just 4.8 seconds (5.1 for the Mulsanne) with a top speed of 190mph. Both cars share the same, highly modified, 6.75-litre V8 turbo engine, and there's a third new model too - a Mulsanne Extended Wheelbase with an extra 250mm of rear legroom and reclining, airline-style seats. There's more space in there than in your own pitiful little hovel, I'll warrant.

If you say so, sir. Can I enquire, be the front styling altered from whence it was?

My, you are observant for a peon. Yes, Bentley says that all of the front of the car, from the A-pillars forward, is new - new lights, which have active main beam and separate spread modes for Town, Country and Motorway (and the little side lights are mounted higher up than before) plus a new grille that is 80mm wider and said to be inspired by the custom-made Embiricos Bentley coupe of the 1950s.

Inside, you'll notice that, amongst the hand-finished wood and the leather (fluted or quilted and available in 24 different shades), there's a high-tech new infotainment system with an eight-inch touch screen and a 60GB hard drive for storing my Collected Speeches Of Margaret Thatcher. Which I listen to quite a lot.

Them be big wheels too, if I may say so, sir.

Indeed; 20-inch wheels are standard, with 21-inch wheels available as an option. The Speed gets the bigger wheels as standard, as well as tweaked suspension, which has three different settings - Comfort, Sport and Bentley.

Be it still hand-made, sir?

Oh yes. Bentley tells me that each Mulsanne takes as much as 400 hours to build, the contrast stitching of the interior takes 37 hours alone.

Ah sir, I don't think a mere peasant like me could ever afford one of these.

Indeed not. Bentley hasn't released prices yet, and let's face it, if you have to ask you can't afford. But customers will get their cars starting this summer after the launch in Geneva next week.

Well, thank 'ee very much for your valuable time my liege. I'll be on my poverty-stricken way now.

Yes, get about your business you disgusting peasant.

Neil Briscoe - 23 Feb 2016