What's all this about?

The all-new BMW 7 Series is here - and it has some incredible tricks up its sleeve.

Such as?

Such as the ability to park itself without a driver behind the wheel. Evoking memories of that daft chase sequence in Tomorrow Never Dies - where James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) slews an E38 7 Series around a car park using only a touchpad on a mobile phone - Remote Control Parking does exactly what it says on the tin: allows the owner to drive the BMW into a space while standing outside the car, using a specially designed key fob. This function will be particularly useful in very tight spaces.

Crikey, what else can it do?

Massage you with its ventilated and cooled seats. Charge mobile phones wirelessly. Subject you to crystal clear music, thanks to a Bowers & Wilkins Diamond surround sound system. Control iDrive via a touchscreen, for the first time. Control the car's functions from the back seats using a seven-inch tablet. Control the car's functions from the front seat by just waving your hands in the air, thanks to BMW's take on gesture control. Yup, it pretty much has the bases covered.

Wow, it sounds amazing. But why does it look like a big 5 Series?

We're not sure, although the previous two generations of Seven (particularly Bangle's fourth-gen car of the early 2000s) were pretty divisive to look at. This one is tamer, which will disappoint some but will no doubt bolster sales. Long-wheelbase versions are naturally available, which will have the traditional 'Li' badging. And rear doors that look like they're about eight feet long.

What's the engine line-up?

One diesel is available, the 730d. It can be had in long-wheelbase and xDrive four-wheel drive formats, and its figures run thus: 0-62mph in 6.1 seconds, 265hp, 620Nm, 62.8mpg combined economy and 119g/km CO₂. There are two petrol models, the 3.0 six-cylinder 740i (326hp, 450Nm, 0-62mph in 5.5 seconds, 42.8mpg and 154g/km) or the range-topping 750i (450hp, 650Nm, 0-62mph in 4.4 seconds, 34.9mpg and 189g/km). The 740i can't be had with xDrive, whereas the 750i is xDrive only. All models, including the final engine in the 7 Series line-up, come with an eight-speed Steptronic automatic that is linked in to the satnav (so it knows which gear to be in at all times) and all of them are electronically limited to a 155mph maximum.

Final engine in the line-up?

Yes, there's a plug-in hybrid model, called the 740e. This mates a 258hp/400Nm 2.0-litre turbocharged four-cylinder petrol engine to a 95hp/250Nm electric motor; combined maximum power is 326hp. It basically matches the 740i on performance stats (albeit it can 'only' do around 149mph), but returns astonishing economy and emissions figures - 134.5mpg and 49g/km CO₂. In fully electric mode, it can run for around 25 miles up to speeds of 75mph.

Anything else you can tell me?

Yes, some of the learnings from the 'i' range of BMWs have been brought to bear on this 7 Series, so the passenger cell uses a load of carbon fibre reinforced plastic to trim the weight of the car by up to 130kg, while the Laserlight headlamps from the i8 are an option. Standard illumination comes from a full LED set-up, though, so the Seven will never leave you in the dark.