Hang on, why is Volkswagen having a glitzy launch for its new T6 Transporter van in Amsterdam?

Simple - it's a little nod to history because it was the Dutch Volkswagen importer, Ben Pons, who in 1947 had the idea for putting a boxy van body on a Beetle platform and thus kicking off almost 70 years of van-tastic history.

Oh dear. It's going to be a punning day, is it?

Yup. It'll be a Transport of delight...

Get on with it.

Fair enough. Well, away from the gala event, where Dire Straits' Mark Knopfler performed live on stage and the earliest known example of a T2 van, a pigeon blue one called Sofie, also put in an appearance, Volkswagen has actually launched an actual new vehicle. It's called the T6 but you or I will simply call it the Transporter, and to be honest, it looks very much like the outgoing T5, which was more or less a carbon copy of the old T4. Vans don't need much in the way of styling, you see, and when you have sold 12 million of them down through the years, you probably have a lock on the recipe.

The interior has had a good going over though, and there are enough storage compartments and cubbies that Volkswagen claims: "Everything here has its place. Be it a folding ruler, coffee mug, mobile phone or tablet. Form follows function. In best Bauhaus tradition." And it has tough Nutz.

Pardon?

Nutz. Believe it or not, that's the product code for the new 2.0-litre TDI diesel engine you'll find under that stubby bonnet; the EA288 Nutz. You can have power outputs from a lowly 84hp to a stout 204hp. There are petrol versions too, for the diesel-averse, also a 2.0-litre turbo with either 15- or 204hp. All engines get stop-start and Volkswagen says that helps contribute to a 15 per cent improvement in economy and efficiency across the board.

There are neat touches everywhere including a soft-close tailgate (on everything bar the most basic model) as well as an electric option for opening and closing. There's an optional 'Front Assist' system that jerks the brake pedal to warn a driver of an oncoming collision, and even adaptive cruise control, which can creep the T6 in traffic for you. There are a tonne of other high end options too - automatic lights, a Driver Alert System that is said to help keep eyes on road, not instruments, and a hill-descent assist function for models with 4Motion four-wheel drive.

The T6 also gets a smart six-inch touchscreen for its infotainment system and there's a special 'Generation SIX' limited launch edition model. Tinted windows, LED headlights and rear lights, fog lights with cornering lights and the chrome package are, for instance, all included as standard. You can even have your new T6 with a modern interpretation of the classic 'Splitty' two-tone colour scheme and of course there are passenger variants including the ritzy Caravelle and the famed California camper.

Any last puns?

It's all very a-van-t garde, isn't it?

*facepalm*

Neil Briscoe - 17 Apr 2015